There is one chair, one blanket, and one voice that makes the dark feel smaller.
Ages 0-6
From $16.90
Buying for a mother
A personalised book for mum: the one question the gift guides never ask
Whether the book should be about her or about the child she reads to, why that decides everything else, and the part of the choice that only shows up on the fourth reading.
There are two quite different presents being sold under this phrase, and the difference is not obvious until the book arrives. One is a book about her - her name, her qualities, the reasons she is loved. The other is a story her child stars in, with her in it alongside them. Both are lovely on the day. Only one of them gets picked up again, and which one that is depends on something almost nobody mentions: she is the person who will be reading it aloud.
The gift is read by the person receiving it
This is the whole thing, and it is why a children’s book given to a mother is a strange object. She unwraps it, and then at some point that week she is sitting on the edge of a bed reading it to a child. If the child does not want it, it is read once, warmly, and then it is on a shelf.
So the test is not whether she likes it when she opens it. The test is whether the child asks for it again, because the fourth reading is the gift - and the fourth reading is the one a book about her will never get.
A book about her, and a book she is in, are different presents
A book about her - reasons she is wonderful, a list with a spine - is a card that took more effort. That is not a criticism; sometimes a card that took more effort is exactly right, particularly from an adult child, or when there is no small child in the picture at all. If that is what you want, several shops do it well and you should buy one.
A story where her child is the hero and she is in it works differently. It is a proper story with a plot, so it survives repetition, and she appears in it the way she actually appears in her child’s life - present, part of the adventure, not the subject of it. That is the version that ends up read to pieces.
Choose a routine, not an occasion
The instinct is to pick the big day - the holiday, the birthday, the trip. The thing a mother misses first is never the big day. It is the ordinary repeated one: the chair she reads in, the walk to school, the particular way the evening goes wrong at half past six.
A story built around a routine also ages better, because the routine is the thing that will have quietly stopped by the time the book is old. Nobody notices the last time they carry a child up the stairs.
Her face is in it too, and that is its own small decision
If she appears in the illustrations, she is going to look at herself every time the book is opened, which is a different bar from a photograph in an album. Use the picture of her she likes rather than the most recent one - and if you are not sure which that is, it is the one she has not deleted.
It is also worth knowing how a service builds her. Some let you pick a look from a set of options, which is fine and is also how you get a pleasant stranger. Ours draws her from a photograph for the same reason it draws the child that way.
Where we are the wrong answer
If she has three children and you want all three of them in one book with her, we cannot do it and some of our competitors can. We make one book per child, on purpose: a single face can be held steady across twelve chapters and several start to blend into each other. That is a real trade and for a family of three it may well be the wrong one.
And if the child is too young to sit through a story at all, the reading-aloud argument above stops applying, which changes the answer back towards the book about her.
Where to start
See all stories
A rope swing, a dare, and a summer that neither of them will forget.
Ages 4-8
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A folded note, an old key, and a whole family that agrees to follow it.
Ages 4-8
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Your child lives one way, and someone who loves them lives a long way the other.
Ages 2-8
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Common questions
Is the book about her, or about my child?
About your child, with her in it. Your child is the hero on every page and she is beside them, and the dedication is written in the child’s voice. If you want a book where she is the subject, that is a different product and other shops make it.
Can all my children be in one book with her?
No. One book per child - a single hero can be held recognisable across twelve chapters and multiple faces start to blend. Several rivals do offer the all-in-one version, and for a bigger family that may be the better gift; our reasoning is written up in the guide on buying for two children.
She hates photographs of herself. Does that rule it out?
It is worth taking seriously, because she will see herself every time the book is opened. Two ways round it: use an older photograph she is happy with, or choose a story where the child is the hero and she is mentioned rather than drawn throughout. You can see the result before paying either way.
Is this only a Mother’s Day gift?
It is better when it is not. Mother’s Day is the day she expects something, which is the day a gift has the most competition and the least meaning. A book about the ordinary week, given in the ordinary week, lands harder - and the date is not the same in every country anyway.
Who actually ends up reading it?
She does, out loud, probably more times than she expects. That is the argument for choosing a story the child will demand rather than a tribute she will admire once, and it is the single most useful thing to hold in mind while you choose.
Other guides
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Pick the routine she would miss first, and pick the photograph she likes. The rest of this decision matters much less than either.
Books for mum